Talent Show of Doom
by Shadowdib
Summary: When Zim and Dib get forced together for a skool talent show, they use the oppurtunity to show the skool how they really feel about each other. Pure, unadulterated loathing. Song is 'What is This Feeling'from Wicked. Oneshot, not really a songfic.


A/N _Warning-rant ahead. You can skip this._ _Just go down to the line._

Unoriginal title is unoriginal. Okay, this has been literally gnawing at my brain (And it hurts… my precious brain-meats!) ever since I saw the musical last year, and I finally got off my lazy butt and wrote it. It's a nice little break from my ZaDf story-this has nothing but ZaDe. Woo! Enemies forever! Okay, maybe there's a _little_ ZaDf at the very end, but you have to squint. It's not much more than they would be like anyway. I know I cut a bit out of the song, but it would've been really hard to fit in, I just removed the part with back-up.

_Side note-I know, I know, I have other stories I need to write more chapters for. This took, like two days, and the other chapters are still being written. Any of you waiting for the next chapter of Dib's Birthday… I'll be honest; it's going to be a while. My brain has been pretty much sucked dry of ideas for that, so until I think of something, that story's in a coma. If you have an idea that you want me to write, I'm glad to hear it, message me and maybe I can pick it up again. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled A/N… _

Oneshot. I own NOOOTHING! You hear? Nothing! Everything having to do with Invader Zim belongs to the amazing Jhonen Vasquez, and the songs belong to Stephen Schwartz. The first time I heard this song, I instantly thought of these two. Enjoy!

* * *

"Class…" Miss Bitters hissed. "In order to make you insignificant fools think you have some sort of worth in our pathetic world, the Skool Bord is forcing us to hold a… talent show." A chorus of both groans and cheers erupted from the class, but there were a lot of nervous whispers from those who didn't know what they should do. "Also, you must work with a partner. However, you may choose them-unlike how you will be forced to stay with horrible co-workers in your future dead end jobs. You will have exactly one week to practice; the show is next Friday at 3:45." There were more cheers at this, and everyone quickly paired up, leaving only Keef, Gretchen, Zim, and Dib. Dib sighed and stood up, about to head over to Gretchen, when suddenly Zim slapped his hand in order to get his attention.

"These horrible children have no talents! How can they show off nothing? They are worthless in combat; some can barely speak in full sentences…" Dib sighed.

"Not that kind of talent, you moron. Stuff like dancing, juggling, or singing. Stuff that's just fun to do." Zim scoffed.

"What is the point of showing off something that's worthless?"

"Just for fun. So you can find out something about the other kids you didn't kn-" Suddenly, their demonic teacher lifted them both into the air by their wrists. Neither dared to squirm, instead glaring at each other.

"You two will be paired together." She informed them, pointing at Gretchen and Keef who had paired up. Or, rather, Keef had grabbed Gretchen and was talking her ear off with her smiling but obviously not hearing a single word. Dib's jaw dropped.

"What? No!" Miss Bitters fixed her deathly glare on the boy, who shrank back.

"This will make up a quarter of your participation and teamwork grade in class, which is dangerously low…" Her glasses swung to Zim, "…For both of you."

"I will never work with the Dib-beast!" Zim yelled, but Miss Bitters just dropped them into two seats in the front.

"You will. Or you might have to repeat fifth grade." Both hazel and lilac eyes widened at that, and the boys looked down at their desks in defeat, muttering 'Yes Ma'm.'. After the teacher had moved away, both Zim and Dib looked up, locking gazes and thinking the same thing.

_This'll be interesting..._

* * *

"So." They were in the library, piles of books open around the two, creating a sort of protective circle. Dib had stood up, brushing dust off his lap and glaring at Zim, who had his head in his hands and was picking at the thread on the couch they were next to. "We've been searching for forty-five minutes. Just tell me something you've good at-besides blowing stuff up-so that we can get this stupid thing _over_ with already!" Zim looked up at Dib, his face proclaiming his boredom.

"I have no need for any of those so-called talents, and there's certainly none that I'd share with _you_." He spat out the last word, and Dib gritted his teeth. He picked up a random book-Famous Broadway Musicals- and flipped through it. Suddenly, he spotted a verse of one of the songs. A grin spread across his face, his eyes igniting as an idea flashed through his head.

"Zim…" He paused, unsure of how to ask besides the obvious way-that is, straightforwardly. Shrugging, not wanting to stay in the Irken's company any longer than necessary, Dib just blurted it out. "Can you sing?" Zim raised an eye at the hyuman.

"Why?" Dib felt like smacking the alien. _Because I'm just curious, you idiot!_

"I think I found something…" Zim snatched the book, giving Dib a paper cut. As the boy sucked on his finger, Zim quickly scanned the paper. The same crooked grin Dib had had only a few moments ago slid across the invader's mouth.

"Perhaps…" Zim hummed a few notes of the tune. "We can do this. It's a good thing I found this!"

"But it was _my_-oh, never mind. You'll do it?" Zim looked up at Dib, and a smirk played the ends of his lips.

"I will do it. But only if I get the first part." Dib grabbed the book back, rereading the parts, and sighed. _Better than nothing._

"Fine, you can have first part." The hyuman held out his hand, proposing a temporary truce. Zim grimaced, but shook quickly before pulling away. "We can start practice behind the skool tomorrow." Zim reluctantly nodded before getting up and running out of the library, leaving poor Dib to pick up the droves of books.

* * *

A week later, after a lot of practicing (And teaching on Dib's part to get Zim to actually sing rather than just yell the words) it was time. They were the last act-Miss Bitters had informed that that it was because the skool board was afraid they might destroy something, which would stop the remaining kids from performing. Zim had waved it off, as if the very suggestion they might cause damage was laughable. Dib had only replied that although it was good thinking, it wouldn't be necessary. They watched from backstage as pair after pair went on. Jessica and Morla doing some sort of dance… Ryan and The Letter M doing a juggling act that was actually pretty cool… Keef and Gretchen- reading poetry?

When it was finally time, Zim and Dib each pulled up a large three legged stool, a piece of paper, and a large pen. Dib's pen was plain black, but Zim's was dark purple and had a bunch of frills on the end. Dib sat down on the stool and gave Zim a nervous thumbs up. Zim just stuck his serpentine tongue out at the boy, sitting down as well. Dib shuffled his fingers over his paper, taking a deep breath in as the spotlight focused on them. He hoped Zim wouldn't mess up-the alien had to start. Luckily, the irken came in exactly on cue.

"Dearest darling-est momsie and popcicle…" Zim started, merely speaking as he scribbled on the paper. A titter of nervous laughter broke out. What were they doing? This wasn't a talent, just them acting stupid like usual. Dib saw Gaz face-palm from the fourth row in the corner of his vision, but he just felt a small smile grow across his face.

"My dear father…" They glanced at each other, giving the smallest of nods as the music suddenly started. They sang in nearly perfect sync.

"_There's been some confusion over rooming here at Chiz…"_ The laughter grew more pronounced. They were going to _sing_? Dib glanced down at Gaz, who was now shaking her head sadly.

"_But of course I'll care for dear Gir…"_ Zim looked out to the audience and proudly sang out his line, accenting it with a flick of his fingers, like he was playing a piano. They had both agreed they could tweak the lines a bit, as long as it wouldn't really affect the song overall.

"_But of course I'll rise above it!"_

"_For_ _I know that's how you'd want me to respond, _yes_."_ They both scribbled down one more thing, then turned and finally looked straight at each other. _"There's been some confusion, for you see my roommate is…" _Zim grinned widely-it was his turn.

"Unusually and exceedingly peculiar, and altogether quite too stupid to describe…" Dib's cheeks burned-that wasn't what they had agreed on! He shot back, his voice full of hatred,

"**Zim**." Quite a few kids sniggered at that. No other words were needed, and the crowd realized that this was personal. They threw down their 'letters' and walked up to each other. Zim started, and from there they just bounced off each other, their voices full of both hate and confusion as they lost themselves in the memory of the first day they'd met. Irken and hyuman circled each other slowly, eyes narrowed as they half-sang, half almost hissed their lines.

"_What is this feeling, so sudden and new?"_

"_I felt it the moment I laid eyes on __**you**__."_

"_My pulse is rushing…" _Zim felt his neck frantically, getting a few more laughs.

"_My head is reeling…" _Dib grabbed his own skull like he had a headache, smirking despite himself.

"_My face is flushing…" _Zim touched his cheek, his eyes glittering dangerously. They both sang out loudly, their voices filling the auditorium.

"_What is this feeling, fervid as a flame? Does it have a name? Yeeeeees…" _They paused for effect then yelled out,_ "Loathing! Unadulterated loathing!" _Zim shouted out proudly,

"_For your face…"_

"_Your VOICE!" _Dib almost screamed, imitating Zim's usual yelling. Zim spun around, spinning his arms before laying them out flat, like an airplane. He was imitating Dib's trench coat.

"_Your clothing!" _They stepped closer.

"_Let's just say… I loathe it all! Every little trait however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl…" _In sync, they both wrapped their arms around their chests and rubbed up and down like they were cold. _"With simple utter loathing… There's a strange exhilaration, in such total detestation, it's so pure, so strong!"_ At this, both Zim and Dib took another step forward, their faces close to touching as they stared each other down. Dib suddenly turned his head away, tapping his finger to his chin in thought. Zim did tyhe same, and the next line was almost sung to themselves. "_Though I _**_do_**_ admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last… and I will be loathing you my whole… life… long!" _Dib whipped his head around and suddenly blurted out, right in Zim's face,

"Boo!" Zim jumped back a step.

"Eh?" As the last beat rang out, they fell face to face, breathing hard. Hazel and lilac eyes were burning with pure hatred, until both ear and antennae were suddenly overwhelmed with a thundering sound. Dib turned his head first, confused, until his vision quickly adjusted to the bright lights and he realized… people were clapping. Loudly. It took him a moment to process that-no one clapped for him. Ever. But they were now, and a few kids in the front row were even standing up. Gaz had somehow judged it worthy enough for a half-smirk.

"Woah…" He muttered. Zim turned his head, and a huge grin spread across his face, and the irken instantly bowed.

"Yes, yes, I am that amazing!" He said, in a strangely normal tone. Dib felt a smile crawl across his face as well, and he bowed along with Zim. The Irken slapped his head when they moved down at the same time, but Dib resisted the urge to slap back.

"**We are calculating the results now. All contestants, go onto stage now."** rang out from the loudspeakers. Any kids unlucky enough to have faced them recognized the voices of the Skool Bord, and quickly ran onstage. Zim and Dib ended up right in the middle, shoved together. Zim's triangular shoulder pad was jammed into Dib's arm, but he ignored it.

_Hmm… Ryan and The Letter M had a pretty good act… they'll probably get it… _When the Bord announced their results, everyone on stage was shocked.

"**For getting so into their characters, the winners are… Dib Membrane and Zim… uh… Dib and Zim. Step forward, boys."** Dib was frozen to his spot as the kids in front of them parted, grumbling. Zim slapped him again, pushing his back up.

"Move!" hissed the alien. Dib stumbled forward, blinking. Zim marched up behind him and shoved the boy out of the way.

"Victory for Zim!" He turned to Dib, and muttered under his breath, "…And the Dib-pig…" Dib broke out of his stupor in time to hear Zim's comment, and he gave a small smile at the acknowledgement. On a whim, Dib grabbed Zim's hand and raised it like a champion wrestler, twisting their fingers together for a moment. Zim was about to wrench his hand away, disgusted, until he heard how the applause increased a bit. He sighed and simply dug his claws into Dib's fingers as revenge for the unwanted contact. The boy didn't even flinch. Miss Bitters slid onstage, holding a tiny cup about 5 inches tall and 4 inches wide including the handles. It had an engraving, but it was too miniscule to make out.

"This is an award that is far too large for what little you did." She muttered, dropping it into Dib's hand. Zim, of course, instantly snatched it. Dib sighed, but didn't argue, knowing that he would lose and it would burst his small bubble of victory. After a moment, the spotlight turned off, and everyone started walking offstage. Zim yanked his hand away, and Gretchen ran up.

"Great job Dib!" She gushed, blushing. Dib smiled at her.

"Thanks… I couldn't have done it without Zim." He yanked the alien over. "Space boy was inspiration."

"Same to you, Earth Monkey. Same to you," Zim chuckled. Gretchen waved, leaving with Keef. Dib jumped off the stage, his trench coat fanning out in the air for a moment before settling at his side. Gaz walked up, her face already back in her GameSlave 2. She grabbed Dib's arm and started dragging him towards the door.

"Good for you. Let's go, you can talk with Zim later." Dib glanced back at Zim, but the alien was already gone. There was a flash of pink on the doorframe, and Dib felt a familiar spark in his chest. He grinned.

"Yea… let's go." A verse from another song in the book flashed through his head as Gaz dragged him out, and his grin widened.

_Unlimited… our future is unlimited…_

_I will be loathing you my whole life long, Zim. Let the games continue._

* * *

A/N I'm getting a bit better at keeping them IC, I think. 'What is This Feeling' was my favorite song from Wicked, and I just wanted to toss that little line in at the end. So, if you liked it, or if you thought it sucked, tell me why! Rate and review, please!


End file.
